Warning: Please make sure you have your e-seatbelt fastened. I’m actually posting twice in one week!
Okay, now that we have that safety warning out of the way, let me tell you about my adventures in sleepwalking. I’ve been walking in my sleep almost as long as I’ve been walking while awake. When I was three my mom found me sitting in my chair at the kitchen table eating an apple in the dark at 3 a.m. After my house burned down at age 12, I had several instances where my dad caught me trying to escape from the condo where we stayed while our home was being rebuilt.
Sometimes I like to combine sleepwalking with talking in my sleep, which can be confusing for anyone who finds me. Eventually they realize that I probably wouldn’t be talking about toy soldiers and angry parrots while conscious, and determine that I am, in fact, dead asleep while carrying on a conversation with my eyes open. Fun!
Yesterday morning I woke up and headed to the laundry room to grab a pair of jeans. I realized there was a light on in there, and assumed I had once again left the dryer door standing open with the light on. (I have no idea why I do this. Probably for the same reason I can load the clothes washer up, fill it with water, and then walk away without closing the lid.)
When I went through the door, I realized the dryer door was, in fact, closed, but the door leading to the garage was wide open. And the garage light was on. Strange. To add to the fun, my parents’ mini-van is crammed in our garage right now while they’re off enjoying a cruise. And the passenger-side sliding door was standing wide open. You know, the side where *someone* had to squeak past the back of the van and navigate around two bicycles in order to get to the door handle.
I checked in the van, and there weren’t any apple cores in there, so I’m not sure what the point of the nocturnal excursion was. And honestly, maybe it wasn’t me! I mean, I’m married now, so it could have been my husband right? Just because he doesn’t have a history of sleepwalking that dates back to 1975 doesn’t mean he’s automatically innocent.
The good news is the battery wasn’t dead on the van and *whomever* was responsible made it safely back to bed without wandering around the neighborhood in his or her underwear.